I've got some catching up to do. The holidays were fun and emotionally exausting. Hondo and I realized that preparing for the big event (christmas guests, presents, meals, etc.) felt like planning for baby. This was something that we haven't done since we lost Our Boys. Although there were a few emotional days, overall it was hopeful... soon we will have our own children to fuss over!!
I had the ultrasound of the pelvis. All is well! Ovaries are normal shaped, uterus looks good except for a small fibroid at the top. The right ovary is low and the left ovary is high - I don't think this means anything as far as fertility. There is still occasional minimal pain over the left ovary intermittently through the cycle - but I think overall it is just my body healing and getting used to its new "shape."
I've gone back to work. 3 hours last week, and 2 half days this week. It feels great to contribute to the household financially again (beyond cooking, cleaning, organizing, paying bills).
For the new year my goals are to:
1. eat healthy: not low fat!! I want to eat what I am craving and decrease my addiction to sugar and refined flour. I am allowing homemade treats in moderation at this point, but decreasing store bought cookies, candy (e.g. sweetarts). I am trying to tame my chocolate addiction too, by limiting the intake and making it good chocolate (very high cocoa content - like 70% or above).
2. create hope: know that reality is how you percieve it. try to find the good in situations, people, and our future. believe in my intuition and my ability to concieve, gestate, bond with and birth our children.
3. remove fear: fear of loss, infertility, doubting my body, fear of talking about Our Babies, fear of failure. I want to be able to show weakness and bond with others.
4. finish the nursery.
Here are some pics from Christmas:
Here is a good scene: Mom is eating country ham, Dad and Hondo have just finished working at Tam's house and are relaxing by drinking some Ebenezer (excellent beer delivered in a small keg all the way from Omaha!!).
Dad is playing some tunes while the girls dance...
Early Christmas morning at Tam/Rob's house (mom was cold all week!). Tam's dawg family joins in for merriment!
Tam looking wishful...
Mom (mawmaw) and Rowan playing with dollies.
Pickle stealing the dolly and rocking it "night night."
Calamity Jane, Mr. Moon, and Bradley taking it all in...
No comments:
Post a Comment